Friday 5/15

Ok, i've calmed down. i've eaten my humble pie and i'm okay. it still isn't fun. i still wish we were home. but it's gonna be fine. it's all about perspective and expectations. my expectations were totally railroaded and so i threw a little tantrum about life. i've gotten all of the "it's not fair!!!" and "why us????" out of my system--for now. Those phrases have a sneaky way of coming back. Being here a couple of days has given me a new perspective on our situation and we have much to be grateful for. This morning one of the nurses was telling me how some of the pedo cancer patients are here for *months* at a time. He (yes, a male nurse) said their parents are awesome and he never hears them complain (enter my huge serving of humble pie).

Yesterday I would not have been able to do this but today I have thought of several things to be grateful for:
* we will not be here for months at a time
* however long we are here I know Natalie will be coming home
* we have access to a great hospital with great care
* this hospital is only an hour from home
* Natalie only has one IV line and no cast so I am very comfortable picking her up and holding her.
* She can eat as normal
* even though we share a room (the little girl yesterday went home and a new one replaced her) we have the side by the window
* I now have the laptop and internet access in Natalie's room
* I got a few hours of sleep last night
* Natalie is sleeping well
* My Mom and Ben have been able to pick up the slack of me not being home.

Here's where we are with everything:
They want to keep Natalie on IV antibiotics over the weekend. They will switch her to oral on Monday and see how she tolerates it. If all is well, come home Tuesday. They did an x-ray of the bladder today. They use a catheter to introduce contrast into the bladder and see how it's working. It showed that there is no blockage which is good. However, they are going to leave the catheter in to help drain things really well. There is swelling in the kidneys and they just want to help get that down while they get the infection under control. Her white blood cell count is starting to go down which is a good sign that she's fighting the infection.

Yesterday Natalie seemed like she wasn't feeling that great. She slept a lot more and ate a lot less than usual. Today she is seeming more like her normal self. She's never seemed extremely ill. Fever was the main symptom I took her in for. That has come down as well.

Last night Ben and the girls came up and stayed over night in a hotel so they wouldn't have to drive home and turn around and drive back to the hospital this morning. I was able to slip over and grab a shower at the hotel while Ben staye with Natalie which was very nice. Limited facilities here on the main floor and hard to leave Natalie for long without someone with her.

Ben is out doing fun things with Katie and Annabelle right now. I think they will stop by again and then head home. Probably come back up tomorrow.

I'm not sure there will be much more to report on Natalie until Monday but I'll probably be able to come up with a long-winded, random post tomorrow. :) Maybe I'll try to snag a picture to make things more interesting. Feel free to leave comments to ask any questions. I don't really know if I explain things clearly or what random details might be interesting.

Thanks *again* for all your love and prayers and support.

It's gonna be okay.