maybe this is just a bad dream

I don't want to write this post. I can't believe i'm writing this post. but yes, my friends we are reporting live from the university of iowa hospital where i had a lovely 3 hours of sleep on a pull out chair in Natalie's room last night. this isn't supposed to be happening. You see, i had a plan. I planned to hang in there until the cast came off and then everything would be good. we were done with pokes, done with tubes, done with doctors, at least on an inpatient basis. before i recap what brought us here let me quickly assure that Natalie's surgery is still intact and everything is closed up as it should be. i think we are far enough out from the surgery that we shouldn't have to worry about things opening up.

The dealio:
yesterday i took natalie to our local pediatrician for her second UTI in less than two weeks. I was in walgreens picking up prescriptions for yet another antiobiotic when I got a call on my cell phone from the pediatrician. of course at that very moment katie starts jumping up and down in front of me proclaiming that she has to go potty--NOW. And Annabelle starts having some kind of melt down and is pulling at my legs. And the music in the store seems to be blaring exceptionally loud. Anyhoo, i was sure i must have heard wrong when she told me that she had talked with the docs at U of Iowa (where natalie was born and had her first surgeries and is being followed for her urology stuff). i was sure she couldn't be telling me that when they heard about this second UTI they wanted me to bring her in for a "work up" to see what's going on. Certainly she couldn't be saying that they were waiting for me and wanted me to bring her in righ now and that they wanted to put her on IV antiobiotics and admit her at least over night. i must not be hearing you right. Nooooooo!!!!!!!!!

but yes, that is exactly what she was saying. my heart started pumping and i tried to think clearly about what i needed to do. First priority--find a bathroom for katie!!! Fortunately ben finished a little early at work and was home shortly after i got there. i threw a few things together not really sure how long i'd be gone. we got to the hospital at 6pm and because it was after hours we had to process in through the ER. shortly after midnight we were finally settled in our room. Don't ask for a play by play of those 6 hours. i'm not sure i want to remember it all if i could. i do know they did an ultrasound of her kidneys--some swelling but still functioning well. i do know that it took 5 nurses 8 pokes to get the stinking IV in. natalie and i were NOT very happy about that. I try to remember that we are all on the same side but believe me there were times i wanted to grab natalie and bolt for it and yell, "stop torturing my baby!!!!!" that's what stinks the most about all this. i can't explain to her that this is for her own good. i can't explain to her why these people are hurting her and i'm not stopping them. people keep saying, 'oh, she won't remember this" but don't all the experts talk about how important bonding is and how we should respond to their needs quickly so they feel safe and how we should talk and hold and cuddle?? they won't remember any of that either but it obviously has an impact. so will these torture sessions have an impact too??

She was so worn out from crying all night with all the poking that she slept hard from midnight to 6:30. she stirred briefly at 3:30 which woke me up and i only dozed on and off for the next 3 hours.

she's on two differentIV antiobiotics. we'll be here at least another night but i'm guesssing more. once they get the infection under control they want to go in and scope out what's going on. that maybe just an x-ray or that may mean a trip to the OR for more invasive investigating. they are thinking that she's not draining everything as she should and so having urine sitting around in the system may be causing these infections. she's definitely having wet diapers and she's not swelling up but still, it might not all be draining.

my mom is spending the day with katie and annabelle. they are super excited about it.

i'm trying to have a good attitude. i'm trying not to get annoyed at every annoying thing about being in the hospital. i'm trying to just take a deep breath and take one step at a time.

oh, and we are on the regular floor (meaning not icu). and we have a roommate. a 7 year old girl with stomach pain and diareha (never could spell that word). if she eats breakfast and feels good she can go home today--those privacy curtains aren't exactly private. so maybe we'll have our own room.

gotta dash--natalie's sleeping--at least i hope she still is.