Monday 1/19

No real developments with Natalie. She's still sedated. They've upped her milk to 2/3 ounce every 4 hours and she's tolerating it well. They will start to wake her up tomorrow and it sounds like it will take a couple of days. It is a slow process to wean her off the morphine and the respirator and see how she tolerates it. Right now my plan is to go up during the day on Wednesday and see her. I don't know if I'll be able to hold or feed her but I just want to be there for her if she is waking up and I'm really missing her. My Mom will come down and be with Katie and Annabelle here at home.

It's hard to be torn between my girls here at home and my baby far away in the hospital but patience, patience...we will all be together soon and time will speed by and we'll look back and say, "remember how crazy those first few weeks were?" and before we know it Natalie will be having her first birthday and we'll say, "where did the time go?" It always happens that way. You think time is dragging on and then suddenly you are looking back and it has gone in a flash.

Today was really good for us here at home. I basically sat around and watched the girls play. I could tell they enjoyed having my undivided attention. Annabelle seems back to her old self and Katie is doing well also. Other than a couple squabbles they played very well together. It's fun to see them interacting more and more. It feels good to be back with them and see them relaxing from some of the stress of the week.

I'm still very tired and weak but definitely getting more sleep here at home.

Thank you so much for all the prayers! It feels good to know that Natalie has people praying for her across the country. I know she is going to be just fine. I can feel her strong spirit and I know that she's taking all of this in stride.

We are soooo grateful that despite her need for this operation she is perfectly healthy. We just need to get through this recovery and get her home so we can get on with enjoying our new baby. I am totally aware that there are much more serious circumstances and that we are blessed to have a healthy baby.

I might be done purging. Sometimes I feel tired of talking and thinking about all this constantly. I think I will post a few more pictures from last week and then I may feel like I've gotten it all out. Don't worry, I still plan on giving daily updates, I just don't know if I need to keep analysing everything.