I'm back at the hospital tonight. I drove up after the girls went down for bed at home. It was a very black night and it made for a dark, lonely drive. After one of my last OB appointments before Natalie was born I told Ben how tired I was of the drive back and forth to Iowa City and how glad I would be when she was born and I didn't have to do that so often. Little did I know...
I'm feeling very torn right now. It's hard to juggle between the girls at home and being here with Natalie. I feel like I'm always neglecting someone. This too will pass, this too will pass....
Natalie is doing great. She is still just sleeping away. It was really good to see her tonight and I realized that it was probably more for me than for her that I came up tonight instead of waiting until tomorrow. She is down to the lowest dose of morphine and they will probably take her off of that tomorrow and then she will only be on Tylenol. Once she is off the morphine she should be more alert. However, we won't be able to pick her up at least through the weekend so I hope she's not upset or uncomfortable if she's awake more and can't be held. Actually, she was extremely content even before the surgery and would just lay in her bed looking around so hopefully it will be the same for her.
It was a fairly normal day at home with the girls. I'm still quite tired and I dozed for a couple hours while Katie sat by me writing and coloring. Both girls are just a bit more huggy and in need of attention but they both seem to be doing well. In some ways it seems as if we've gone back to life before we had Natalie...just the 4 of us at home.
I wondered how we would adjust to having 3 children and I'm still wondering.
1 comment:
Amy, I wish I could give you a big hug and help in someway to relieve some of your stress and worry as a good mother. I can tell that you are torn - I am sorry. I think you are doing a wonderfully good job of taking care of your little girls. This is a tough situation, but I am sure, however, that they will remember it and be so grateful to you someday for the sacrifices you made on their behalf. Not so fun to hear, but hang in there - you are doing great - I admire your faith and strength! We are thinking about you and remembering you and your family in each of our prayers.
Post a Comment