Family Update Sunday 1/18

We called and got an update on Natalie tonight. No real news which is what we expected. She's still sedated and is stable and doing fine. They've started giving her a tiny bit of milk (1/3 ounce) every 8 hours through the feeding tube just to slowly keep things moving. When we saw her yesterday after the surgery I was shocked at how big the cast is that she has to wear. It's almost like a full body cast. My poor baby! The doctors said it probably weighs 5 lbs. It starts at her chest and goes all the way down to each ankle. There is a hole in it around the diaper area. This is not going to be fun but we'll get through it. They told us she'll need to be in it for 4-6 weeks. I feel so bad for her. I don't know how uncomfortable it will be for her. I'm hoping it will feel like she is swaddled..maybe? I can't imagine what it's going to be like to carry around my baby wrapped in a chunk of plaster. I will be so glad to get it off so she can move and we can snuggle a soft baby again.

I was able to get a some great sleep last night and today. I feel like a human being again. I don't think I've ever been that tired in my life. Besides just not getting a lot of sleep I was completely worn out physically. I probably walked about an hour a day at the hospital going back and forth from my room to Natalie's room to the cafeteria etc. I could literally barely lift my arm to eat before going to bed last night. It was soooooo good to fall asleep in my own bed. It's amazing what a few consecutive of hours sleep can do. I'm looking forward to resting and sleeping here at home over the next couple of days.

I was so happy to see Katie and Annabelle when my parents brought them home last night. It was hard to be apart from them when we are used to being together pretty much all day every day. I could tell that all the goings on of the week had been hard on them. Katie has been very upbeat and excited for the most part but over this week she has picked a hole in the knees of 3 pairs of pants and Ben has seen her picking at her hands. Definitely some nervous energy going on there. Also, she spent all day Saturday making notes and pictures for me, Ben and Natalie. My Mom said she would just write and write (she asks someone to spell the words for her) and colored all day long. She came home with a huge stack of cards and pictures for us. She likes to do that kind of thing normally but we thought her obsession with it that day was maybe her way of dealing with things.

Annabelle was a little stand off-ish to me last night and a little clingy with Ben. She had this look in her eyes that just said she felt like everything was turned upside down. Today has been a great time for me to re-bond with her and hopefully help her feel reassured. She still seems a little off but hopefully another day of just hanging together will help. I've had lots of hugs and snuggling from both girls which has been great for all of us.

Ben had the experience of taking the girls to church alone today. Actually, he does great with them and they usually do good at church so it wasn't really a big deal. He has been absolutely wonderful through all this. Even though it's been a tough week for him as well, I feel like I've been leaning on him and he's the one taking care of all 4 of us girls.

I think my blogging has become a way of journaling for me at this point. Writing has always been therapeutic to me. Maybe Katie and I have that in common. I'm sure I'll slow down at some point but for now I just keep purging.